I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.) Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" but not the p-word. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come - pride is a word about growth. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. ![]() Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors.
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